What is FAIR?

My little boy often has the reaction to something that has happened and says, “That’s NOT FAIR!” And I, being the all zen mom and everything in my head, I think and then say, “love, there is no fair. Things just are.” And then I can blather on about how expectations on any outcome will lead to disappointment, attachment is the road to unhappiness blah blah blah. He doesn’t hear those things, or at least I didn’t think he did. After all, I seem to repeat them over and over, and don’t notice that he reduces the number of times he says “it’s not fair”.

Last Thursday my innocent little fuel efficient car was quietly minding its own business at a paid parking meter in front of the library in Montpelier. We were doing something to further our education, using our time wisely, promoting my son’s very brain growth. Some guy driving a delivery truck for a company that I will still not name, not just yet, hit scraped and damaged my car. There was a witness. The police sorted it out. Names and many numbers addresses zip codes information was taken and passed around. The police told me what to do next, I did it. No problem.

Ha. IT’S NOT FAIR number 1: I called my insurance company and they told me oh YOU’LL need to call the other insurance company and let them deal with it. No, we won’t work for you…IF WE CALL YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY YOUR DEDUCTIBLE. What? Seriously? I mean, after all, isn’t this why I pay what to me is good money, on time, all year every flippin single year…so that the insurance company is on the phone figuring it out and not me? OK, got it.

I call the other insurance co, still to be un-named. Oh they were brimming over with smoochy customer service. As if I were the queen they took down my info and wished me a fabulous day! Oh, and, we’ll assign you an adjustor and that is the person you’ll be talking to from now on. Something about that felt like a crick in my neck. Like part of my field of vision just got obstructed. The world is shifting now isn’t it?

IT’S NOT FAIR #2: The adjustor called me Friday. She promptly told me the guy and his company did not hit my car in their truck and are not paying out any insurance thank you very much. And, probably just a coincidence, the adjustor person has an accent almost impossible to pull real words from. What did you say? You’ll not help me? I thought you said you wouldn’t help me?!!!!

So now there are other calls to make, crash reports to fax, witness statements to receive in the mail and pass on and many more minutes hours days of my time, when all I did was PARK. MY. CAR.

This is not fair.

I said this to my friend on the phone and I heard my parrot boy chime back to me, “mama, there is no fair.” “Shut up kid” was the thought balloon over my head at that moment. He can’t read yet, so I don’t think I damaged him with that particular thought. Those are always classic moments that are coming faster and faster where the child repeats the useless advice given to him in tough times. Don’t say it again kid because there IS fair and this isn’t it and I’m angry and I want to feel angry and childish and whiney.

This will explain the fair I’m thinking of in my mind:

This is what it feels like to be in my head right now. I’ll sign off and go call Sarah the therapist for a tune-up. I’m not feeling so koom-bye-yah right now, more like better-hit-the-deck-you-sloppy-driver, and that’s just not me.

Does anyone know where the line is on naming names to try to get things moving along, is it defamation to say who hit my car, his company? Who knows? Leave me a comment, what do you know? Suggestions?

Peace all


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